“How the F* Is It Christmas Again?” — A Blog on Time, or the Illusion of It**

 

“How the F* Is It Christmas Again?” — A Blog on Time, or the Illusion of It**

Every December, without fail, I find myself staring at a half-lit string of Christmas lights, muttering the same phrase that echoes across the globe:
“How the f* is it Christmas again?”**

Seriously. Wasn’t it just winter? Wasn’t I just promising myself that next year I’d be more organised, prepared, festive, financially responsible, emotionally available, and spiritually aligned?

And yet here we are. Again. December. Like some cosmic joke.

The Elastic Band Called Time

Time is weird. Physics tells us it's not constant. Neuroscience tells us it's subjective. And lived human experience tells us it's basically an optical illusion performed by a magician who hates planners and savings accounts.

Remember being a kid? December felt like an eternity. Twenty-four little doors on an advent calendar? That was work.Each day dragged on like a movie buffering on dial-up internet.

Now? Blink.
July.
Blink again.
December.
Blink once more.
Oh look, it’s December next year.

Why Time Speeds Up as We Age (Without Getting Too Sciencey)

The short version: the older we get, the more routine life becomes, and the fewer new or “novel” memories we create. Novelty stretches time; repetition compresses it.
Your brain isn’t tracking time; it’s tracking experiences. If every week looks roughly the same, wake up, work, scroll, repeat, your brain files the whole year as a single blurry memory called “2025-ish.”

Suddenly Christmas pops up like a jump scare.

The Holiday Déjà Vu

There’s also something about Christmas specifically that enhances the illusion:

• It’s ritualistic. The same music, same decorations, same food, same stress.

• It’s everywhere at once. Lights, ads, Mariah Carey, all screaming, “It’s time!”

• It’s emotionally loaded. Nostalgia compresses time like a vacuum bag sucking down a comforter.

You’re not imagining it. Christmas doesn’t arrive. It ambushes you.

The Existential Whisper Under the Wrapping Paper

When we ask, “How the f*** is it Christmas again?”, we’re not really talking about Christmas.
We’re talking about the unsettling realisation that another year has passed in a blur.

We’re talking about mortality.
We’re talking about growth (or the lack of it).
We’re talking about all the things we meant to do and didn’t.
We’re talking about the gentle panic that life is moving a little too fast.

The holiday lights just make it easier to see.

So What Do We Do About It?

We can’t slow time, but we can slow our experience of it. A few ways:

• Create novelty. New experiences stretch the perception of time. Take a different route. Try a new hobby. Eat something you can’t pronounce.

• Be present on purpose. Even one mindful moment a day is like hitting "slow motion" on life’s highlight reel.

• Mark the year intentionally. Seasonal rituals, journaling, or photo logs help “thicken” our sense of time.

• Say no to autopilot. The more consciously you live, the longer the year feels.

And Maybe… Let Christmas Be Christmas

Even if it sneaks up on us, maybe that’s part of its charm.
A reminder to pause.
To gather.
To reset.
To breathe.
To let yourself be human in the middle of a year that raced past you.

So when the lights go up and the calendar mocks you with its festive cheer, you can still shake your head, laugh, and say:

“How the f* is it Christmas again?”**
But maybe this time, with a little wonder in your voice.